My Plea to the Universe

"...What do I stand for? What do I stand for? Most nights...I don't know anymore." I really don't. Right now I don't know what I believe in or what I stand for. I don't know where I'm going, and I'm fighting really hard to accept where I've been as a learning experience rather than the heartbreak that it actually feels like. Scrolling through my newsfeed on good ole' Facebook this weekend, I found that three dear friends who divorced during and after me (and for similar reasons) got engaged. And while I am ecstatic for each of them, and not anywhere near wanting to get married again to my current someone or anyone, it heavied my heart because I don't think that in my 35 years that I've ever had a romantic relationship with anyone who truly loved or valued me. There is no one who has come along in these past few years who thought I was worth committing to, emotionally or otherwise. And as accustomed as I am to riding solo, that just really sucks. I was just sitting in my dining room chatting with another friend who experienced her second divorce recently, and we agreed that maybe if we put our wishes out into the universe, the universe will return to us with a change in love. I guess it's worth a shot. So, Universe, hear my cry in the form of my wish list for 2013 or at least the near future: 1. I don't put much stock in education level or career success level...but please send me someone with emotional intelligence. Someone who knows what he wants and how to say it. Someone who can listen to me without taking my words as personal attacks, without thinking I'm counting on them to solve every problem or gripe, and without judging me for the moments when I let my emotions or lack of sleep get the better of me. Someone that can deduce that I just need a hug or help with the dishes, or a snuggly night in front of a dumb sci-fi flick. 2. Please send me someone who wants to be included in my life, and not just in the fun parts. Someone who wants to meet my extended family and is comfortable enough sitting next to my brothers-in-law in an Applebee's talking football or music or whatever it is we end up talking about, rather than making excuses to stay away from such events, or showing up but staying aloof and/or staring at his phone all night. Someone who actually shows up to my birthday party...or even plans it! Someone who my friends finally meet and look at me and wink, because they actually like having him around. And likewise, someone who includes me in their life, too. Introduces me to friends, male or female, and is proud of knowing me and being with me. Someone who thinks to invite me to get-togethers, whether it's a kidless weekend for me or not. Someone who gets out of bed at a reasonable hour on the weekends and WANTS to hang out or go somewhere or do something or TALK to me. Someone who wants me around. 3. Please send me someone who understands and respects that I do not want or need a replacement father for my children. They have a dad. I am their mom. Just be a positive role model...be akin to the "cool uncle." Give advice if they ask for it, hugs if they ask for them, be the world's best homework tutor, toss a football around with them. And just embrace it for what it is. Embrace the possibility that two little boys might value your presence and support, rather than assuming that I intend to hold you to being (Step)Father of the Year. 4. Please send me someone who is okay being exactly the age they are, with no desire to move backward. I am no longer a spring chicken, but that doesn't mean I'm not beautiful, fun or spirited. I don't want to be in my 20's again. I don't want to dress like I'm in my 20's again. I don't want to be or act as stupid as I was in my 20's again. I don't want to date anyone who is still in their 20's. I've lived a lot of life...I'd like to meet someone who can relate. Send me someone who feels the same. 5. Please send me someone who wants to be loved, hugged and wanted, and someone who wants to reciprocate. And someone who's never going to take for granted that I want to give the love and physical affection to them. I know it sounds like I'm asking for the moon. I've met only extremes these past few years...immature, stage 5 clingers without jobs who text me all day at work because apparently they don't realize that I can't talk to them ALL. EFFING. DAY. or men so emotionally unavailable that I can date them for months (or hey, how about A YEAR) at a time without them ever expressing any feelings of love or adoration toward me. I am a moderate girl on all levels...politically, musically, culturally...please tell me there's someone out there for me. Please, universe.