Redux

Two years ago, after the birth of my second son, I started this blog under the moniker, "A Girl Gone Mom." While blogging about the day-to-day stresses, joys, and complete chaos of trying to raise three children, I met other mommy bloggers in my same boat:Each of us longing for the balance of being happy, effective moms of happy, adjusted children...Each of us longing to stay connected to the version of ourselves that we were before our bundles of joy were even twinkles in our sleepy eyes. Sisterhoods were forged, and I made lifelong friends.

But then life changed for me. And fast. In a nutshell, my ex-spouse engaged in a months-long affair, I uncovered the text messages that revealed it all, confronted him about it, and then he left. Less than four months later, we finalized our divorce, and he has since gone on to live happily ever after with his mistress. Sounds like a movie on the Oxygen Network, right? In the midst of all of the divorce/child custody madness, I removed my blog and its history at the advice of legal counsel. Seems that my deep thoughts, rantings and silly quips could paint me as an "unfit mother" in a courtroom. Pshaw! As if any one of us is truly "fit" to do a damn thing, let alone groom tiny human beings to function in the universe's biggest cesspool.

But I digress...

Two years later, I am divorced and one of the children I raised no longer lives with me. I kiss my sons goodbye every other weekend, and lose sleep wondering if they're okay at their dad's house. I am dating. I am broke. I am a single mom. I am back at square one, reinventing myself and my dreams and doing everything I can to let my boys know that, no matter what, they are part of a family who loves them and would do anything to keep them safe and healthy.

Every day is a mystery for me. My fellow control freaks understand why this is bloody terrifying.

So A Girl Gone Mom has been reborn. Notsomuch with a vengeance, as with a purpose. I want all of the moms out there to know that we are hopeless if we do not stand in support of each other. I want all of you to know that, even on the days when you're feeling embarassed by how you are handling yourself and your adversities, you have "sisters" out there who "get" you, and don't judge you by your emotions.

I am here to high-five you, hug you, shake some sense into you, laugh at you, laugh with you and tell you that you're gonna make it. Because at the end of the day, have ANY of us really figured it all out?

It's good to be back, ladies.